SHE SAYS: "Hey we should hang out!"
HE SAYS: nothing because she doesn't let him
SHE SAYS: "Okay, bye!"
Let's talk about squirrel-flirting business. Yea, it happens. It's the kind of flirting where you dart around the other person like a half crazed squirrel then run up a tree, then godknowswhere.
The coolest and nerdiest of us are guilty of this faux-pas and I'm pretty sure it's embarrassing for those on both ends of the party. (Which also calls into question: what in the world are we, as a group of academic nerds, giving relationship advice for? You'd think after pumping out 50 pages on Foucauldian theory over a month, we'd know how to communicate by now. But sadly, tis so not our fate. Learn from our mistakes people.)
So I confess, I too am guilty. I've gone up to a fella and have said oh-so-boldly! "hey we should hang out!" then concluded with a "okay, bye!" within a matter of seconds aaannddd MARCHED back out of that arena while laughing. Too bad all the vital information was missing. If you didn't know me better, you'd think I was being coquettish. I swear that was not my intention.
Fellas, please understand that we aren't trying to tease you when we flick that beauteous smile of ours on and off every couple of days or so. It's just that our confidence machine isn't so well oiled on a minute by minute basis, and sometimes, yes if you're special enough, our engines can even stop mid-sentence without reason, rhyme, or... RUUNNN!!! (then again we might just need our morning tea and wonderbread, or whatever our rituals may be.)
Hence dear gentlemen, try approaching us a couple more times if we are scowling at you or ignoring you after we've shown clear interest sometime while back. And well, even when our confidence machines are overcharged? Meeting us half way wouldn't be such a bad idea either. "Ladies first" mustn't always apply.
For our part, the next time we - or let me just promise for myself - I spot you, SingSong's tragic flirting target, I will make sure to suck up my pride or insecurities and simply say what I mean. Though I can't promise you I'll succeed. Because truthfully? I don't always have the energy to play games or read between the lines, nor do I have the heart to make the guy do the same for me in return. But in the case that my words fail, I suppose a little communication hint from the good ol' guy friends might do me some good. Maybe. Only maybe.
At this point I should probably ask, at the fear of coming off as a rather demanding specie from Venus (you really don't have to cater to our every need, boys), are there anything that the gents would like us to know?
I love you, and the word coquettish, and all the many sentences in this post that made me laugh. :) I only wish I was outgoing enough to even manage the "hey we should hang out!" part of the equation; I'm afraid this post doesn't usually apply to we shy girls for that reason.
ReplyDeleteAnd oh, Gitta and her Foucault...
I can say as a member of said male gender that we have a very difficult time deciphering when cute girls are being friendly or are flirting so we tend to take the conservative route as it saves both us and said girl from a awkward situation.
ReplyDeleteWe have no problem meeting womankind half way in fact instead of "women first" we have the expectation that men instigate (true or otherwise). Seems like everyone feels the are the only one trying to instigate.